Thursday, November 21, 2013

No: Weeki Wachee Springs


I would not want to live at Weeki Wachee Springs, otherwise known as "The Only City of Live Mermaids," located in Weeki Wachee, Florida.

You'd think this would be right up my alley, what with the glitz and bling and whatnot. Plus, I can swim alright and I like sea friends.

But I wouldn't want to live in Weeki Wachee Springs.
Here's why:
  • How much you wanna bet the "treasure" in that treasure chest above is just cheap crap?
  • Water up the nose
  • "Boy, would I like a piece of that tail, har har har!"
  • Pruney, waterlogged fingertips
  • The undoubtedly tacky gift shop where I would likely have to work when not being a mermaid
  • Tight, thigh-hugging mermaid tails making me feel like a fat sausage
  • Bad, 80's-style blush: 

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