Wednesday, October 23, 2013

No: Bad Crazy

Karl Largefeld and his betrothed, Choupette.  Awesome.
There's Good Crazy and there's Bad Crazy. I don't like Bad Crazy and I don't like it at all.

Please note that I am not using "crazy" to refer to genuine mental illness or developmental disabilities.  I'm not and I wouldn't because disabilities aren't crazy and they aren't funny.  For the purpose of this post, you may choose to interchange "crazy" with "eccentric," "off-beat," "screwy" or "quirky" -- but throw a stinking heap of pure crazy in there.

Good Crazy is Cyndi Lauper in the 80's, designer Karl Largerfeld wanting to marry his cat and The B-52s' "Rock Lobster" (but not "Love Shack.")   Good Crazy is Johnny Thunders saying "At least I have my health!" right before he falls off the stage . It's also this guy and his delightful/terrible (and sometimes, sweaty) monkeys:

Bad Crazy, by contrast, is a bald Britney Spears smashing a car window with an umbrella. It's the stranger who insists on starting a conversation and no amount of monosyllabic, terse replies on your part will deter him. It's that damn Tom Cruise jumping around on a couch. It's Carrot Top. Bad Crazy is even thinking about singing "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" at Karaoke. It's finding out about this guy and thinking the art is possibly sort of cool --  and then you find out he could have been a pedophile or child murderer.

Good Crazy is Frank Black screaming about slicing up eyeballs.
Bad Crazy is Glenn Danzig demanding hot onion soup and refusing to play a show because it's too cold.  
Good Crazy was Cher showing up at the Oscars in that near-naked Bob Mackie dress as a big F.U. when she didn't get nominated for Mask.  
Bad Crazy was Lady Gaga's meatdress - because who wants to wear 50 pounds of stinky meat?

Note: riding a unicycle down Main Street, choosing to write your novel on a old typewriter instead of a computer and generally being "ironic"all the time isn't any kind of crazy. That's just overplayed dumb stuff.

What I hate most about Bad Crazy is when Bad Crazies try to draw you in to their crazy show. Sometimes Bad Crazies will get crazy in pubic as they are wont to do. Then, you are inadvertently sucked into the crazy show because you must work hard to pretend you don't see the crazy show. There's a crazyshitshow right in front of you but God help you if you catch a crazy eye.  So you pretend you don't hear the yelling, singing, chortling or muttering and you don't see the dancing, flailing, staggering or shuffling.  It's hard work.  

What I do when this happens is to pretend I'm at the circus.
I don't like circuses but when I pretend I'm at the circus during a crazy show, sometimes it makes me laugh out loud. 

Which, admittedly, is Bad Crazy but who cares?

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